1) Your father/mother is not your biological father/mother. But, no one bothered to tell you.
2) If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.
3) You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And you’ll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you “playfully” but the force of his push will have you flying across the room. But it’s okay. Cuz you’re still laughing like a crazy person.
4) Brothers/cousin/uncles-nephews will always love the same girl.
5) You’re allowed to make u-turns wherever you want in Korea. And there is never traffic on the side you want to u turn to.
6) There is a super quick payment device that allows you to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.
7) Everyone has cancer.
8) If you’re sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel lots better.
9) There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.
10) Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely part of a normal night’s event.
11) Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it everyday all the time, especially the poor people.
12) If you’re rich, you’re a jerk.
13) If you’re poor, you’re an angel.
14) Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.
15) You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.
16) If you have a nosebleed, you most definitely have cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save your life. And your liver is missing. We’re not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.
17) If you work in a sool jeep, you have massively curly hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90′s. Try 70’s (disco).
18) You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.
19) You will always call your boyfriend by his job title. Or simply sunbaenim. Never his name. Never. He doesn’t have one.
20) If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane people. Just frozen….
21) You go to America and come back miraculously successful. You go to England and come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.
22) And if you come back with no apparent reason then it’s because you have cancer.
23) Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.
24) If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes, you’ll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking an ambulance or driving, they’ll race you on their back.
25) Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.